Don’t Raise Obedient Kids — Raise Honest Ones

-

 


Introduction

Most parents feel proud when someone says,

“Your child is so well-behaved and obedient.”

It feels like a parenting win.

But here’s a question worth asking:
Do you want your child to obey you blindly — or understand you deeply?
Because there’s a big difference between obedience and honesty.


Obedience Sounds Like:

  • “Yes, Papa.”

  • “Sorry, I won’t do it again.”

  • “Okay, I won’t talk to them.”

  • “I’ll never say this in front of you.”

But what if they’re just hiding the truth?
What if they’re scared of you, not learning from you?


Why Obedient Kids Can Become Secretive Adults

When kids are raised only to follow orders:

  • They learn to hide mistakes

  • They fear punishment more than they value truth

  • They become adults who avoid conflict, not solve problems

Obedience might win you a quiet dinner table.
Honesty will win you a lifelong bond.


Raise Honesty, Not Fear

Here’s how to raise a child who tells the truth — even when it’s uncomfortable:

1. Don’t React, Respond

If your child says they messed up, don’t shout. Pause and say:

“Thank you for telling me. Let’s see how we can fix it.”

2. Admit Your Own Mistakes

Say:

“Even I yelled too much today. I’m working on it.”

This shows them that truth is a strength — not a weakness.

3. Reward Honesty More Than Achievement

Instead of:

“You got full marks, great job!”

Try:

“I loved how honestly you told me you didn’t study much — that’s brave.”

4. Have Regular ‘Truth Talks’

Create a weekly ritual where your child can share anything — no punishment, no lectures. Just listening.


From My Practice and My Parenting

I've met teens who ace exams but hide anxiety.
Children who obey at home but lie outside.

Why?

Because they weren’t punished for lying —
they were punished for telling the truth.


Final Thought 

Your child doesn’t need to fear you to respect you.
They need to trust you to tell the truth.

So the next time your child confesses something — even shocking — don’t say,
“How could you?”

Say,
“Thank you for trusting me.”


What Next?

  • Reflect on the last time your child told you something difficult

  • Did you respond or react?

  • This week, ask your child:

“Is there anything you’ve been afraid to tell me?”


Enjoyed this post? Never miss out on future posts by following us on https://follow.it/smartlifebydrrohit?leanpub.


For more mindful parenting insights:
👉 https://smartlifebydrrohit.blogspot.com

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The 5 Habits I'm Teaching My Daughter Before She Turns 5

-
Image
Introduction They say the first five years of a child’s life lay the foundation for who they’ll become. As a doctor, I’ve read the neuroscience behind early childhood development. But as a father, I’ve felt it—in the small, sacred moments that shape her worldview. This post isn’t a parenting manual. It’s a quiet reflection on the habits I’m consciously helping my daughter build. They’re simple, powerful, and rooted in values I hope will stay with her forever—even when she no longer needs to hold my hand. 1. Say “Good Morning” With a Smile Every day begins with a greeting, not with a groan. I want her to know that kindness can start at home, with the people she sees first. This habit isn’t just about being polite. It’s about: Acknowledging the presence of others Starting the day on a positive note Developing emotional awareness Even if the day gets rough, her first emotion was love. 2. Say “Thank You” Without Being Told Gratitude is not a skill—it’s a habit. From the peon wh...
Read more

What Losing My Cool Taught Me About Anger Management

-
Image
Introduction I’ve always considered myself a calm person. As a doctor, I’m trained to handle chaos. As a parent, I try to stay composed. But one day, I lost it. It wasn’t a major incident—just a series of small frustrations stacked one over the other. And I snapped. Loudly. Uncomfortably. Regretfully. That moment humbled me. And it taught me more about anger, ego, and emotional control than any book or course ever could. This isn’t a guide from a monk on a mountain. It’s a reflection from someone in the thick of life—like you—trying to be better, one emotion at a time. Anger Isn't the Enemy—Suppression Is Anger is a natural emotion. It’s our internal alert system. What becomes toxic is when we: Suppress it until it explodes Express it destructively Let it control our decisions What I learned: Naming it early (“I’m irritated…”) gave me more control than pretending it didn’t exist. Every Outburst Has a Trigger (and It’s Rarely the Person in Front of You) When I snapped, i...
Read more

How to Raise Financially Smart Kids (Even if You're Not a Finance Expert)

-
Image
Introduction Most schools teach our children how to multiply numbers—but not how to manage money. And many parents avoid talking about finances with their kids, either because they feel unqualified or believe it's “too early.” The result? A generation that knows algebra but not how to budget, invest, or say no to instant gratification. As a doctor and father, I’ve realized that raising financially smart kids is not about teaching them complex stock strategies. It’s about shaping their habits, values, and mindset around money—right from the early years. Here’s how you can start, even if you’ve never taken a finance course in your life. Lesson 1: Talk Money Early—Without Stress Children pick up emotional cues about money early on. If they only hear complaints like “money doesn’t grow on trees” or “we can’t afford anything,” they start seeing money as stressful or shameful. Instead: Use simple, neutral language when discussing money Explain how things cost money, not just ...
Read more